Hungry Stalin

In 1932-1933, the super evil dictator Stalin caused a famine in Ukraine. He went from house to house and asked to eat some of the workers’ grain. The workers were scared, because the harvests were already below subsistence levels because of drought and the fact that the kulaks destroyed their crops and slaughtered their animals. Seeing this, Stalin would console them saying “Don’t worry, I only want a spoon full.” This would comfort the workers, but only for a moment. To the poor proles’ horror, Stalin would pull out a comically large spoon. This spoon was so comically large that it could easily fit 100,000 bushels of grain. Stalin would take all the wheat with his spoon and eat it all on the spot.

Stalin and his spoon caused 69,420,000,000,000 Ukrainians to die of hunger. Do not pay attention to the fact that the famine was happening in places other than Ukraine, or that the area of the U.S.S.R. was prone to regular famines for centuries, or that there was a drought, or that the kulaks were destroying their harvests. It was all Stalin and his comically large spoon.

Adds Stalin to the game. Stalin:

• Spawns near crops
• Eats any crops he can reach
• Attacks players who are carrying crops or food
• Has a 10% chance to drop his comically large spoon

The comically large spoon:

• Has the stats of a diamond shovel (minus the ability to make dirt paths)
• Causes players hit by the spoon to become hungry.